Residency Rumble

Let’s get ready to rumbleeeeeeeeee!!!!!  This sentiment is most commonly settled upon when it comes to wrapping up medical school and gearing up for my first job in 4 years.  It is sometimes flanked by omgomgomgomg grippling fear, but that subsides with a nice trip to the dog park, a new Travis Scott release, or an NBA finals game.  These last few months have been a whirlwind filled with scars, fraud, mountains, bitcoins and moving, but I still don’t think anything will compare to the roundhouse kick that residency will provide.  Without further dawdle, here are a few feelings heading into emergency medicine residency:

I know nothing and there is too much to learn.

This is a familiar feeling that I’ve come to relish for a myriad of reasons.  In my first years of medical school, I was obsessed with productivity: I wanted to memorize every muscle’s attachments, I wanted to calculate every drug’s volume of distribution, and I wanted to predict every pathology’s mortality rate.  One particular night I rushed home from the hospital, loaded a plate of mom’s leftover chicken tetrazzini, and retreated to my room.  While I rewatched lectures on 2x speed, I spilled a spoonful of tetrazzini on my precious MacBook.  At that moment, I realized I couldn’t learn everything.  I stopped rushing through meals and started cooking myself.  I learned that I love cooking; creating, providing, improving, and most of all enjoying food time with family and friends.  Ironically, when I slowed down, thought about a bigger picture, and focused on being happy, my grades improved.  I want to cook in residency.  When the ED is crazy I want to slow down, focus on what matters, and dedicate my time to those around me.

Will I have a life outside of the hospital?

Medicine is my true love, but I am promiscuous.  I also love the air rippling through my shirt on a summer motorcycle ride.  I also love trying out the sourest of sour beers.  I also love trying new coffee shops and pretending I know the difference between a light and medium roast.  My point is this: I want to be the best doctor possible, and I understand what it will take, but I don’t want that to be my sole definition.  For me, socializing is difficult, but I always feel accomplished when I push myself to generally do more.  More life.   

This is going to be fun.

I know it will be hard, taxing, stressful, disheartening… not to mention sad, enraging and disgusting, but I am pumped to be a doctor.  Watching a SuperBowl is fun, but don’t we all want to be Tom Brady?  I want to be thrown into the melting pot of the ills of society, grinding away at helping others.  I am privileged to be in this position, and I can’t wait to jump off the turnbuckle to join the rumble!

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